A lot of why we end up feeling disconnected and discontented is because we are aspiring to mould ourselves into a shape we simply don’t fit. We are trying to be either, or.
Mostly though, my belief is that we are always a little of everything and that to get the most out of our time and energy we should embrace this, especially in business.
We are both chaotic and quiet. We all crave a little structure and we all crave a little freedom, they are not mutually exclusive and can work together well. Being a mixed up melting pot of desires and needs and thought is utterly normal and more than OK.
If you asked anyone who knew me professionally they would tell you how incredibly organised I am. I am a list maker, a process builder and a strategy implementer. What they don’t see is the creative process, the madness, the wildness, the art of it all. They wouldn’t have seen it because I was trying to hide it.
I spent much of my life pushing down the creative in me because I thought I couldn’t possibly want order and chaos at the same time. It wasn’t normal to be both these things. You were either a free spirit or a stick in the mud. Either/or, see?
I believed that I couldn’t possibly be this way, that I was wrong somehow and that by being both these things at different times or indeed all the time it would cause a rift in time and space that would see me swallowed whole if I didn’t reign myself in (I think I watch too many supernatural apocalyptic dramas that thinly veil the ‘be who you are meant to be or bad shit will happen’ morality).
Then I started my business and I started working with incredible people who, for whatever reason, were holding themselves back from excelling in their chosen field in exactly the same way as I was in my own life. Making themselves small because they thought they could only be one thing at a time and to continue with being over dramatic, it broke my heart.
So often we can see with a clearer perspective when looking at someone elses problems and sometimes it’s super easy to see the solution too, oh how unbalanced is self-perception.
So what do we do about this conundrum? How do we even begin to approach the habits of our lifetimes?
We get honest about who we are and we get clear. We can and often are a little of all things. We must ask ourselves, if we took away the trappings of societal norms and other people expectations, what does productivity and success look like to you?
- What should flexibility in your life/business look like to you?
- What makes you feel inspired and driven, how often is that a part of your schedule?
- What about your current situation drains you and limits your energy?
- What tools do you use that actually work for you?
- Why have you been preparing your schedule in this way?
It’s not exhaustive of course and it brings up other questions. It begins to challenge the stereotypes that you’ve created about yourself, how you work, how you learn and importantly, how you grow.
I challenge you to pick one of those questions and dive a bit deeper, let me know what you come up with.
If your current situation isn’t working for you, maybe it’s because you’re going against the tide instead of with it so, if that’s true what could you achieve if you leaned into your personality and worked with it?