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Quick question. Do you have your dream lifestyle as well as your dream business?

If you’re making bank but breaking your heart in the process is it really what you set out to do?

Are you flourishing personally?

Online business is booming and you wouldn’t be alone if you’ve found yourself sucked into some of the noise. There’s a misconception that success on a personal level means basically the same for all of us.

It’s a lie we tell ourselves without even knowing it. An unconscious belief about what the lifestyle of a banging female founder should look like. Immersing ourselves in the industry, it’s no surprise we sometimes get swept away with it.

Watching so many exceptional female leaders, founders and entrepreneurs filling their lifestyle with what looks right. What they think their audience wants to see rather than what is right for them breaks my heart.

Where is your dream lifestyle?

Relationships falling apart behind the scenes.

Family life and connection struggles.

Moving from city to city but struggling with the constant upheaval.

Being disappointed in the team you have hired (or in yourself).

Feeling like you have to be ‘ON’ at all times.

Believing that you’re alone in wanting a different type of lifestyle whilst maintaining and growing your incredible business even more.

These aren’t direct results of a lifestyle not fitted to you but it’s definitely part of that whole thing.

The problem is that without too much thought to the long term damage the misconception is being perpetuated online. We are filling voids with launches. We are travelling from conference to conference when we dream of growing roots but we’re not pursuing our dream lifestyles.

We’re not silly, we all know different lifestyle ideals are real. Sadly the noise says different. To be seen as a success we must showcase and therefore live this one vision of the ‘she’s made it’ life.

I didn’t really pay much attention to it if I’m honest.

I am who I am and I love what I love and I assumed that you were the same. That what you showed me on your social media your happy. What you showed in your courses and content was exactly what you wanted.

In fact, I often wondered if I seemed less successful than you because I didn’t lust after those same things?

I built a successful business. That means it earns the money I wanted it to and helped a lot of other businesses.

But I also built a successful life. I have built in freedom, fostered amazing relationships and I always have all the time I need. What’s more I built in wellness and happiness.

I am still in a position to grow my business in ways beyond my wildest dreams.

I believe that the industry is changing and that is exciting.

Now is your time to check in not just as a business but as a human with valued needs.

Also, as a leader. Are you teaching your audience that success is what you show or are you teaching them that success is how you feel?

I’m not a Mulberry bag kinda girl. I’m more Centre Parcs than Dubai and I’d rather listen to live music with my loves in our village pub than eat at a Michelin star restaurant in Knightsbridge. That is not my ideal or dream lifestyle.

Those things are awesome, if that’s what lifestyle joy and authenticity means to you. I will definitely do them from time to time but they are not my success milestones and so I don’t build them into my life. I certainly don’t put my mile markers on pedestals because I want to perpetuate the myth that there’s only a narrow vision of success.

Here’s the truth.

When you built your exceptional business there were things that you wanted from your life. You wanted your dream lifestyle as well as a successful business.

I suspect those things were a huge driving force and are, in part, responsible for the success you have today.

But we change.

Maybe it was what drove you then and that’s why you’re living it now. But if you’ve changed then I’m pretty sure a life loved by your audience but not entirely by you will not be enough to nourish you for long.

So here’s what I propose. Let’s break free from those perceived #lifestylegoals that were good for marketing but don’t sooth your soul anymore after you’ve CEO’d the shit out of your business all week. Let’s build out YOUR version of a dream lifestyle and stop being afraid if it’s different to the status quo.

Does this resonate with you at all?

When was the last time you took stock of your lifestyle and whether it meets your *actual* standards?

As a leader, when did you last time post on your socials about feeling a sense of peace? (rather than how much money you made or how spectacular your launch was)

Both are valid by the way but are you validating your lifestyle by being happy? Or, are you validating your lifestyle by showcasing the bits that support your marketing?

Are you in a mastermind? When did you simply share how much you value the friendship of the other women rather than the value of the investment or the fact that it’s a mastermind? Again, all are valid but I would encourage you to look at what they really mean to you without the marketability of it too and lean into what works.

Why now?

I’m sharing this because as online business boomed this year I began watching a lot of incredible women in the space building business, skyrocketing their income. Living the dream life. And yet…I noticed a swathe of women who felt like their persona was more important than their actual personal peace. Watching them as they burned themselves out and became disconnected was an eye opener.

All because they’d been striving for a part of the dream that really didn’t fit them on a core level. If we want to elevate all kinds of lifestyle joy, all kinds of people, we must embrace the things that make us different as well as the things we perceive to be acceptable and inspirational markers of success.

Do you think it’s time we we shifted this from ‘I’m successful therefore I want these things’ to ‘I get to create the life I really want, as I elevate my business, I elevate my opportunity to build my wonderful whole life’ ?

What next?

I’d love to keep this conversation going – if you’re a high achieving and ambitious woman whose curiosity is piqued, if this resonates with you at all then you can get my weekly email here. Of course if that’s the case you may want to work together (after all this is what I do) so if that’s your jam you can apply for 1:1 coaching.